By JALETTA ALBRIGHT DESMOND
Bluefield Daily Telegraph
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Remember those embarrassing moments when your child was screaming in the grocery store aisle, throwing a fit at a another child’s birthday party or melting down on stage, while it appeared every other toddler within a five-mile radius was standing by obediently? Those moments may get worse as they get older. Especially if you are obscenely wealthy or well known or, worse, both.
The Lohans, Hiltons and, most recently, the Jordans have had moments with the world watching as their adult child had a meltdown or misbehaved. And I still think sympathetically of Debbie Phelps, Michael’s mother, whose proud, glowing countenance must’ve turned red hot with shame when he was caught red-handed being the bad boy. The Olympic gold-medal winner took responsibility and apologized immediately after being caught on camera with drug paraphernalia and has been squeaky chlorine-clean ever since.
We feel worse for the parents who have tried hardest to lead by example. Phelps, a single mother and middle school principal, probably tops that list. Basketball legend Michael Jordan, despite his international super stardom and enormous bank account, seems to have stepped around the traps of his celebrity and successfully kept his kids from falling in, too. Until last week, that is.
Jordan’s 19-year-old son, Marcus, sent a tweet last week that read, “Last night was stupid ... 35K at Haze. Totals 50K something the whole day.” What’s tweeted in Vegas obviously doesn’t stay in Vegas. Since it’s unlikely a teen would drop that kind of coin on Red Bull and tickets for the Viva Elvis show, Nevada Gaming Control Board officials are examining whether the casino operator violated laws prohibiting drinking or gambling by minors. The University of Central Florida sophomore guard told a Fox Sports website that the tweet was a mistake and said he’d spoken with his parents about it.
“I didn’t mean it the way it came across,” he said. “My family and friends know the type of person I am.” Probably a pretty well-behaved type of person until this indiscretion, because we certainly would’ve heard about it. But still, even Vegas has a few rules and no amount of fame or money should allow you to break them.
Meanwhile, one of the biggest and best tantrum throwers of this generation, Lindsay Lohan, is busily bouncing from court to photo shoot to jail to rehab. Although the 24-year-old actress is now admitting to making mistakes and “dabbling in certain things,” she seems to lay most of the blame on others — including the judge who sentenced her, the doctors who “misdiagnosed” her, her father who caused her “trauma,” and even the friends with whom she partied.
“So many people around me would say they cared for the wrong reasons,” she is quoted in Vanity Fair as saying. “A lot of people were pulling from me, taking from me and not giving. I had a lot of people that were there for me for, you know, the party.”
Well, Linds, they’d leave if you weren’t, you know, throwing a party. But maybe she played the troubled adolescent character too often and it became part of her own character. Her real-life arrested development caused her to be arrested too many times. And her parents weren’t much help. Her mom, Dina, is famous for clubbing with her famous daughter and always defending her behavior. Her father, Michael, is accused of cashing in on her fame and just this week made the timely announcement that he plans to open a rehab clinic. Her parents apparently didn’t do enough actual parenting, suggests the reporter who interviewed her.
Meanwhile, Paris Hilton was arrested. Again. When police pulled over her boyfriend for driving erratically, she went for her lip balm and cocaine allegedly fell out of the handbag. But it wasn’t her handbag, she said. Sure, when you’re Paris Hilton and you have strangers competing on a reality TV show to be your BFF, your friend may lend you her purse. But will the friend face a felony drug charge for her, too?
The running theme here is the failure to take responsibility and simply say, “Yes, I messed up” or “Yes, my adult child messed up and should be held accountable.” Instead, it is a dance of denial and deflection.
Jordan hasn’t said much about his son publicly. Instead, this week he donated $250,000 to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg school system’s middle school athletics program to help offset new pay-to-play fees. Students who couldn’t afford the new fees will now be able to play sports. This generous donation, made in the name of Jordan’s NBA team, the Charlotte Bobcats, was likely in the works for weeks — but now the announcement is overshadowed by his son’s pay-to-play Vegas trip.
I applaud Jordan for making this donation and his kids don’t appear to be troublemakers, usually. But it would be refreshing if Jordan stood up and said, “Hey, that was a dumb thing for my son to do and he is here to say he is sorry.” Then Marcus could stand up and follow in his father’s large footsteps off the court, where it matters most.
It might be good role modeling for the Lohans and the Hiltons, too.
Jaletta Albright Desmond is a self-syndicated columnist who writes about faith, famil, and the fascinatingly mundane aspects of daily life. Contact her at jdesmond@bdtonline.com.
