By JALETTA ALBRIGHT DESMOND
Bluefield Daily Telegraph
— Oscar night is my Super Bowl. We throw our own little family party — I don’t want the distraction of other people because I’m a serious viewer — and make a night of it. When the girls were younger we even dressed up for our own imagined red carpet although nowadays we’re all happier in our most comfy pajamas.
I’m not attempting it this year, with 10 Best Picture nominees on the ballot, but last year it was my ambition to see all five Best Picture nominees before Oscar Night. I admit some people will think that goal was shallow and a waste of time or money but I succeeded in my admittedly indulgent objective and had a good time — and a lot of popcorn — while doing it.
It had been a stressful time in the life of my family and I think slinking off to a movie … sometimes in the middle of a school day alone … felt like “The Great Escape.” (That 1963 film won the Golden Globe’s Best Motion Picture award. I’m going to stick with references to Oscar winners and nominees.)
Things had been “Rocky” around our home last year. “The Sting” I had felt had been painful. Sometimes, as a parent, it is difficult to maintain a brave face and a “Braveheart”.
We are “Ordinary People,” so I know the script of our life isn’t much different from anyone else’s. We all face difficult times for various reasons. Many people are struggling with a job loss, financial insecurity, home foreclosure, or critical health issues. And some of us are simply raising a teenager for the first time.
No, I don’t mean to discriminate against adolescents or stereotype and slander all teens. But I think even most teenagers would admit that they feel like a “Rebel Without A Cause,” unless that cause is simply trying to grow up. The teen years are “The Defiant Ones” because they are “Breaking Away” from their parents to establish their individuality. Teens may also confess that sometimes they feel “Lost in Translation” when speaking with their parents. If they are particularly frustrated, feeling resentful against authority, a “Big Chill” accompanies them as they are “Coming Home” from school or a night out. To teens, family time may feel like “The Longest Day” because “The Hours” pass so slowly. Maybe they think it is “The Lost Weekend” if they don’t have lots of plans with friends on the calendar for Friday and Saturday.
We parents may sometimes feel like we were hit from “The Blind Side”. The young child we raised is “Missing”. We may wonder what alien, or “E.T,” kidnapped our son or daughter. Where is our “Little Miss Sunshine?” Who crowned her “The Queen?” Who appointed him “Master and Commander?” Let’s take a “Guess…Who’s Coming to Dinner” tonight? The polite and charming teen we know or the “Crazy Heart” who occasionally visits?
Sometimes all “Sense & Sensibility” evaporates from the parent-teen relationship. We need “An Education” on how to approach and communicate with our teenage child or “There Will be Blood”. Maybe we are left wishing for “The Sixth Sense” to see past the “Secrets & Lies” we suspect we’re told. We know our teen is simply trying to figure out for herself or himself “The Right Stuff.” They are trying to figure out who and what they are going to be one day. It’s “Up in the Air” at this point. At this tender stage in their development they have much maturing to do; they are only the “Scent of a Woman” or man, the individual, they will eventually become. During these years, they “Walk The Line” between childhood and adulthood so there may be a “Crash” of wills as we all adjust. It may feel like one brief day in the house without a conflict is “As Good As it Gets”. It’s no “Picnic” for either parents or teens.
Things start looking “Up,” though, when we remember God’s parenting style and try to adopt it for our own. We are “Precious” in his sight. None of us are “Unforgiven”. So I can share his “Tender Mercies” by passing them on to my child. In those moments when I remember to share God’s grace, “Life is Beautiful”.
The “Verdict” on who our teen will become won’t be decided for years but I’d bet “My Left Food” that it will all work out in the end. This is, after all, a “Love Story.” Maybe we’ll be able to look back, after the house is empty and quiet, and feel that these years watching our child transform into an adult were “The Best Years of Our Lives.”
Jaletta Albright Desmond is a self-syndicated columnist who writes about faith, family, and the fascinatingly mundane aspects of daily life. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and two daughters. Contact her at jdesmond@bdtonline.com
